5 tips for making friends in Russia as an expat

Today, in honor of the international day of friendship, we will be talking about making friends in Russia as an expat. First of all, because stereotypes about Russian being cold are so common, we have to address that. From my experience, while it is true that Russians smile less on the streets to people they don’t know, Russian culture is actually quite open and topics that are considered “taboo” and “personal” in the west can be discussed in Russia. However, if you are from a place where people greet and smile strangers on the street, it is useful to remind yourself of the cultural differences so you don’t feel like people are being rude when they don’t immediately warm  up to you. Other than that, while it is helpful to keep in mind cultural differences, it is best to put aside cookie-cutter stereotypes and approach new friendships with an open mind. With that out of the way, here are five tips for making friends in Russia.

If you always stand out, embrace it!  You will often stand out a bit as a foreigner, but you can use that to your advantage. People will often find it interesting that you came to Russia and be interested to hear about your culture and what you think of Russia. You might hear the same stereotypes about your country quite often, but if you’re patient and appreciate people’s interest, you will start to make real friends in Russia. 

One-to-one friendships are a good starting place. Often, being in a group can be a bit overwhelming as everyone will start talking quickly and it can be harder to follow along and speak up. So, if you’re feeling a little shaky about your conversational Russian, it can be easier to talk to people one at a time at first. When people realize that you are still learning Russian, they will often make things a little easier for you and you’ll have a bit more time to respond. 

Celebrate the connection you  have. Once you get to the intermediate level you’ll be able to have real, meaningful conversations about a lot of different things. However, unless you get to an extremely high level of fluency, there will always be things that are easier to communicate in your native language. Therefore, it is better to celebrate the connections that you have been able to create instead of focus on what you wish you could have said. It is important to remember that with every conversation you have taken one more step to speaking Russian fluently and understanding Russian culture better. 

Study conversational vocabulary and take note of common expressions.  There are always words and phrases that won’t be in your textbooks and classes because they are too informal. However, these words are useful for making friends in Russia so try to learn them. It’s also important that you build your vocabulary in things that are actually interesting for you to talk about. If your classes aren’t teaching you enough vocabulary in your area of passion, go online and try to read a few articles or watch a few videos and take notes of the vocabulary. 

Using social media texts as a bridge. Official textbooks and study materials often won’t have “street vocabulary” and it can be hard to learn new words in conversation without text to aid our memories. Fortunately, in the modern world there is the perfect hybrid: texting and social media posts. Often times people will write the way they speak when they are using social media and you can use text messages and informal facebook pages as a valuable learning resource. 

Finally, there will always be moments of frustration but as you start making friends in Russia I’m sure you’ll start to feel that the joy of having new friends outweighs the difficulties. 

Posted by Hannah Cupery